Five Minute Friday: GRASP

Five Minute Friday is the brain child of Lisa-Jo Baker.  Every Friday she gives a prompt to  write on for only 5 minutes.  No extreme editing allowed.  No worries about font, punctuation, or perfection.  Raw and real.  Then you link up to her blog.  

Today's word is GRASP.

GO.

As I think of who I am today, it's hard to grasp where I've been.  Where I've been on a security level.  Like many women, I have had my bouts with insecurity and negative self-esteem issues.  I guess you could say I'm "in recovery" and, for the record, this is really, really hard to write.

It's hard to write because most people that know me, see me as an outgoing person.  And I am.  But at one time, that was a front.   

I can't pinpoint when my inaccurate view of myself started.  I can remember, even as a little girl, wishing that I was skinny like my two older sisters.  Girls (and now women) who were born with naturally thin frames.  It took me awhile to understand that I was built differently.  

In the past, I have seen pictures of myself that I didn't like and have wrinkled them up in anger while sitting alone in my room.  In the past, I have taken diet pills and prayed that God would make me skinny.  In the past, I have shed tears over trying on clothes...and don't even get me started on swimsuits.

I have been 140 lbs to 190 lbs and everything in between.  I have self-soothed with food and then the next day, wished I could be anorexic.  I have stood on a scale in the morning and let the number I saw dictate my day.

No more...

Years ago, something clicked and I cannot even grasp who that other person is anymore.  True, I still have moments where I pinch that stubborn arm fat and wonder why my eyes are getting lines already; I am not perfect. 

But...  

With Jesus, lots of prayer, self-reflection, books (thank you Beth Moore), and my sweet husband, I am here to say that satan no longer has his grasp on my ability to see who I truly am and for what I was truly intended.

And my prayer for girls, women, moms everywhere is that they will claim that truth and cling to it with everything they've got.

STOP.

Will you join?

Ain't Nothin' but a G Thing, Baby

If I had labels on my blog, this would be filed under "food rambling."  Just so you're warned...

photo credit

Are you familiar with the gluten-free craze?  If you're not, you should get out of the cave that you're living in.  It's everywhere.  On magazines, on cooking shows, on shelves at every grocery store.

I heard about it a couple years ago and was like "You want me to what? Stop eating wheat? That's hilarious and crazy and not going to happen."

So, I continued to eat gluten and continued to question those who didn't. I understood those with allergies and what not, but by choice? I didn't get it.  We love us some pasta and I love any type of cracker...usually dipped in any kind of dairy, which apparently is not good for us either. (Ugh).

But, a few weeks ago, I picked up a free magazine and one of the cover stories grabbed my attention.  Something about "Wheat Belly," but I can't remember for sure.  Anyway, I read it and the evidence and reasoning behind being g-free, was enough for me to entertain the idea.

And WHOA.  When you make the change you quickly see that gluten is in EVERYTHING.  Now, let me say that I'm not going crazy overboard here.  With what Trent and I do for a living, I'm not about to go into a church or home stay and bark out my dietary needs and concerns.  Not even a chance.  So, we've just been eating mainly lean protein, eggs, salads (with homemade dressings), and veggies.  I like how I'm feeling. 

(Then yesterday morning we had oatmeal and apparently it was contaminated with gluten and without going into too much detail here, my stomach had some issues). 

(It wasn't pretty).

The change hasn't been all bad.  I don't miss bread, but I would fight for some goldfish crackers and a croissant roll does sound pretty good.

The dairy thing?  Not even going to happen.  Not a chance.  I could maybe not do milk, but don't take away my cheese.

Small steps people, small steps.

Are you G-Free?  Or kind of G-Free?  Discuss...

Arkansas and Missouri

Recently, we went to Arkansas and Missouri for a quick run of shows.  

The first one was in Siloam Springs, AR.  We checked in, got to the room and this was waiting for us.  Snacks and a thank-you card.  So sweet!  I felt very fancy and important.  And then I stuffed my face with some Wheat Thins and some Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies and was brought back to reality.

 

The show was a youth night in the park.  Lots of kids showed up and several accepted Christ.  What a cool thing to see!

I posted this to my Instagram the next morning on our way out of town.  Trent is quite talented with packing a car.  Some of my fb friends called it "luggage tetris" which is totally true.  I don't get involved with packing the car.  He has it down to an art.  And that's how I feel about the dishwasher.   

We stopped in Fayettville, AR for the night.  It was a bit storage to be around that many Hogs, but I survived.  We ate some yummy sushi and listened to some amazing blues.  But before we went out, I captured a shot of our hotel room.  It's dark, so you may not see much, but I'm here to say it's a MESS.  And please keep in mind we had been in that room all of about 5 hours.  I would also like to point out my favorite accessory...the box fan hoisted up on the "closet" area.  We like to keep things real...real classy.

Onto Monett, MO! 

The show was a fundraiser for The Den Youth Center, which is a safe place for kids to come hang out and get off the streets.  Here we are with Amy Sampson and Deb Berger.  Two awesome ladies!  If you'd like to donate any funds to a great organization, or if you want more information, let me know and I'll get you in touch with one of them.  You won't be sorry.

And back to Arkansas.  CrossPointe Community Church in Van Buren gave Trent the entire AM service to do a concert.  That always works out well, if churches are willing to do it.   (Doesn't that look like the sun in the pic below?  It's not.  It's the flash reflecting on the car window.  Go figure).

And here's Lacy.  She is a precious girl.  AND she's a golfer.  YAY!!!

(But what in the world am I doing with my leg up there?  Strange).

Stay tuned for our trip to Atlanta.  I'm going to do things a bit differently on the ole blog.

*Deep in the Heart of San Antonio*

I hadn't been to San Antonio in about a billion years, so when we had some shows booked there around Labor Day, I was like "Hallelujah, bring on the real Mexican food."

I love the town.  The River Walk, the history, the culture.  The aforementioned food.  I could go on and on.

We got to town on a Saturday and went to the River Walk.  Trent, in true "when in Rome/San Antonio" fashion, forked over the $10 for some mariachi music.  We did some quick math and came to the conclusion that these bands do quite well.  

Sunday morning, Trent played special music at TriPoint.  The worship band had learned all the parts (drums, bass, keys, electric guitar, harmony) to "Beautiful You" and played with us.  It was a blast!!  He also played along with them during worship:

This is Taddy.  He's the worship leader at TriPoint, who happens to be German. (I did remember to let him know I come from German stock).  He sneezed outside and I said "Gesundheit."  And he said, "Danke shoen."   And I said, "Bitte."  And I was immediately thankful for Mr. Corlett at China Spring High School for speaking German during Trig and Calculus.  

That night we went to Eisenhower park for this shindig with Abandon:

First was soundcheck. And don't you just love that face T made?  He thinks we have too many serious pictures of us.   

My mommy and daddy came!  It was Mom's birthday weekend, so it worked out perfectly.

And Sorrel came, too!  She's a dear family friend and my sisters and I went to high school with her.  *Please note that my hair is NOT actually yellow.  We were working with some weird lighting.

And thanks to her for getting this picture.

The next day, we went to the River Walk for Mom's b-day lunch.  We had Mexican food (duh), that included a surprise birthday flan.  (Which looked like something that would come out of a cat, but tasted way better). 

(And while we have planned outfits before, the above was just because we think alike.  And because we're awesome).

Can't wait to go back to San Antonio!

My Mom's Partay

While in Texas, the whole family got together to celebrate my sweet mother's birthday and retirement.  Turns out it was a semi-retirement celebration because when she retired, they asked her to work part-time from home.  Because she's just that awesome.  We all met at The Monument Cafe in Georgetown, TX.  If you're ever in the area, do yourself a favor and go there.  

Sweet Elliot with Grammie and Paads

Us with Noah.  He ordered scrambled eggs and bacon for dinner.  Love that boy.

Carrie with Blake and Griffin  

Julie, Nathan and Elliot

Caleb being his silly self

Nana came!  

The birthday/semi-retirement girl.  Can you believe she's 62?!?!

We all chipped in and got her an iPad.  She was so surprised and we all cried.  It was sweet.  And we gave her detailed instructions to not let Daddy touch it. 

The Wenzel Women. (Well, the Wenzel, Barlow, Self and Monk women.)

And those precious grandkids.  This was the best I got.  It'll do...

It was a special night.  Spending time together, celebrating the most selfless woman I know, chasing kids around the garden.  One of those moments that will forever be a snapshot in my mind. 

Five Minute Friday: Graceful

Five Minute Friday is the brain child of Lisa-Jo Baker.  Every Friday she gives a prompt to  write on for only 5 minutes.  No extreme editing allowed.  No worries about font, punctuation, or perfection.  Raw and real.  Then you link up to her blog.

I've followed Lisa-Jo Baker for several months now and have always wanted to participate in Five Minute Fridays but haven't had the guts to.  And sure enough on the day that I decide to, the prompt is Graceful.  Funny. 

Funny because that is a word that has never really applied to me.  I've heard funny, pretty, tall, crazy, smart (on occasion), but never graceful.  And that's quite alright.  I've never thought much about it.

As believers, we hear the word grace all the time.  I try to handle every situation I encounter with grace.  And I think I do a pretty good job of it.  Does that make me graceful?  I'd like to think so.  

As I am nearing the season of being a mommy, graceful is more on my mind.  I want my future children to see a mommy full of grace.  Not in the way I move or dress, but the way I mother.  The way I treat their daddy.  The way I treat others.  The way I respond to other women.  

That sounds like a lot of pressure.  Will I do it perfectly? Not hardly.  Not even close.  But, because of His perfect grace, I will get a little closer.

Whew.  That was rather therapeutic.  Would you join me?  Even if you don't blog, I think you should.

Oklahoma and Arkansas

After Louisiana and Mississippi we were able to spend a couple days in Texas  before heading to Oklahoma.  

We got hair-cuts and ate pizza and cooked for my parents (well, Trent cooked) and saw Nana and that's about it.  I did find an amazing pair of blue heels at the Target that may get their own post...

The first stop was Enid, OK.  And, can I just point out that, A. I am not a fan of Oklahoma roads.  They are a tad too bumpy for my taste. And B. the highway signs look like foam fingers.  I am a fan of that.  It's real cute.

See?

We were opening for Remedy Drive two nights in a row and Enid was the first.  They were super nice guys AND the drummer's fiancé was on the road with them and she brought a dog.  You have no idea how badly we want a road dog in the future and Miss Volley was perfect.  Polite, precious and petite.  We had too much fun with that dog.  And next time I'll ask if Volley is named after the sport (Volleyball, duh) or the state (Tennessee, The Volunteer State).  I'm very curious about it and kick myself for not asking.   

We had about 2 inches of space to play. Kidding. But seriously, all I know is that Trent's guitar was dangerously close to my face and I was dangerously close to the steps.  

Next stop was ASU-Beebe.  For those of you that don't know, I went to Arkansas State University (main campus in Jonesboro) and I was tickled to be on this campus.  We didn't see much, but it was still neat-o.  I felt like busting out the fight song.  But I didn't.

The backstage area.  I thought it was funny to see all of our belongings strewn about.  (I just typed that in a British accent, just so you know).

Taming those pesky fly-aways.

We left that night and drove to Van Buren, AR to play Rock the River in Fort Smith the next night.

I cannot lie.  I love me some lanyards.  Trent has BOOKOOS of them in a box in our closet.  I have 3.  One day, we will think of some clever way to display them in a man cave/studio/office of sorts.  And if we can't think of anything, I'm sure pinterest will help.

"Meet and Greet" time.  Trent and Shawn McDonald:

Heather Weaver and me.  With our lanyards.  

A sweet, anonymous donor gave Trent a pedal board and a road case for all his gear.  We. Were. Shocked.  He has been wanting to get one for EVER, but when you're independent with limited funds, you have priorities, and that wasn't one of them.  So, we are extremely thankful for God's provision. 

The next morning, Trent led worship and put on a concert for the CWA (Christian Waterfowl Association) in Siloam Springs, AR.  As you can see, it was in a tent and I adored it.  Made me want to join a circus.  

(Or at least read Water for Elephants again).