Saturday, September 28, 2013

Ring of Fire

Buenos días!

I'm sitting here, drinking coffee and watching the Today Show before we leave for Arkansas.  

(By the way, my dad thinks we're liberal because we watch the Today Show.  He's a Fox News fan.)

Anyway, they just had a segment about a new trend.  A trend in the world of engagements.  More and more couples are splitting the cost when it comes to the engagement ring purchase.  I immediately thought, "Well, why not? To each his own."

They interviewed some random people to see what they thought.  One woman actually said, "If he asked me to help pay for the ring, I would say no."  And after a poll, 54% did not agree with splitting the cost, 46% did.  

(Or was it 56% and 44%. get the idea.)

Now obviously, it's not traditional.  But, with more and more couples waiting until they're older to marry and sharing other expenses already, I don't see the big deal.  Whatever makes sense for you.  That's my motto.

It got me thinking about our engagement and wedding.  

We did not have a lot of money.  I was a teacher and Trent was in culinary school, waiting tables at Cheddar's in Waco, where people didn't know how to tip.  

We had just decided (with lots of prayer) that I'd resign and Trent would start doing music again.  I knew we'd get married, I just didn't know when.

On a beautiful November day in 2009, Trent and I went to a pretty spot on Lake Waco to watch the sunset.  I didn't think anything of it (because he's a romantic guy anyway).  We talked and laughed and then he started talking about our future together.  Then he asked me to marry him.  It was perfect.

But here's the thing.  There was no ring.  He explained how he didn't have a lot of money and how he was sorry there was no ring.  He told me of how he went and looked and quickly learned that what he could afford, was no good.  

I told him I didn't need a ring.  And that was the truth.  But I felt bad for him because that's what men are "supposed" to do.  He felt a little ashamed.  Bless his heart!

The whole thing made me feel bad for men.  There's so much pressure on them to get the biggest, best ring.  To go into debt just to propose to their lady.  I don't get it.

I went to school the next day, on cloud nine, and shared my news.  The inevitable "let me see the ring" was uttered every time. Most people were understanding when I explained how we were saving our money and that we'd just exchange rings on our wedding day.  But one person laughed in my face when I said there was no ring.

It hurt my feelings a little, but it made me cringe for Trent.  

Anyway, my point.

There was no engagement ring.  We bought our invitations from Walmart and had them printed at a local printer.  The wedding was in my sister's backyard.  The food was from Costco.  My bouquet was from HEB.  And our rings?  Also from Walmart.  And we love them.

And we wouldn't have done it any other way.  It was perfect.  And we are still in love and still happy, happy, happy.

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